Im sorry i was not there....T.T

Hiyoo!!! Diz few days sakit kepala...^^...anyway dun care bout dat...==" anyway....
im so guilty of not spending my time for u...n the thing is i promise u that i will...im trying my fucking bez to find time 4 u...cuz i lost my hp*shit*n i dont hav enuf money 2 buy 1...cuz i spent it in sumthing stupid...*ya i neo im not dat gud as a person u cn love*....nw im gonna buy 1..reguardless of wat kind of model...as long dat hp cn use o watever..cuz i hate lending hp from ppl....><.....ya i neo u miz me but u dun belif im missing u...imagine...when it's rains try 2 catch the raindrops in ur hand as though how much you miss sum1,but those that u lose hold of,is hw im missing u....im sori i was not there when ur alone...im sori for not being there whn u need me...im sori for not being there when u need 2 tok...im sori 4 everything...im sori...even whn u say nevermind...theres sumthing in ur heart u mind....haihhh....ppl has been treating u bad ur whole life...im trying 2 make it rite...u rili deserve 2 be treated gud...n im doin it baby gurl...even my life is bad...i put u 1st in my heart...i'l settle everything in ur life before mine n i maen it!!!!!!....i'll make it better 4 u 2 live on...i neo u've been hurt alot of times by those in ur life...but its ok..life is like dat...there bitter there are sweet times...i neo ur life...even tough u havent tell me all yet...i neo...im jz kipping quiet...*hehehe u duno leh hahaha*....if hav 1 wish given by god...dat wish is to let u live a perfact life then any1...no more wat ur having now...a hapi ever after life...even without me even when im gone o die o old o watever!!...dat wish remains...i want u to be ur happiest all the time...im doing everything 4 u...im pushing myself 4 u...doing things i never did 4 a gurl...bcuz of 1 word..n dat word only...becuz i love u...yes its simple but it means alot...its from my heart...everything is 4 u...i'll give u anything u want...even when u say u want nothing n put on smile face...i neo u want sumthing...im gona be the 1 who u cn trust, the 1 u cn love wif all ur heart,the 1 hu u cn fight wif,the 1 hu u cn show ur temper,the 1 hu will be there 4 u,the 1 hu u cn hug tightly wif no worries.......but i dun have the chance 2 do that....cuz im not there...even if im there o not there...i want u do ur part...cuz im gona break my habit for the last time...uinanh...^^'......I LOVE U....DAMN GURL!! DONT U UNDERSTAND....I LOVE U.....xpppppDDDDDDDD